The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in see here metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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