The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently additional hints justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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