The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. find out Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in city locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay males want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue browse around this site a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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